Nothing Left to Say

At times I wonder if you care, wonder if your there, wonder if you see my pain without tears cuz I won't show it but hopefuly you know its there, Wish it could be different but honestly I couldn't bear your transformation to a creation whom I'm all to familiar with, not saying it was your fault just something that your dealing with, wish we coulda got dealt a betta hand, your my dad but it was time to be a man, felt like life was cylindrical and I needed a new plan, though I know you won't get it.....I hope you understand that I love you and if given a second chance, I'd go back to b4, but no longer open is that door, so I stay awake at night praying for the source of our issue, wishing I could wipe away this pain as easily as tears upon a tissue, but I can't, all I can do is say that I miss you, and hopefully its vice versa but if not you still guided my way like a cursor. And maybe secretly your proud of me, eyes getting red while writing, I'm blaming allergies, though no pollen is present.....I mean thats its for real...nothing left to say