The Calm

The sparkling of light reflects off the water drops of the constant down pouring of the rain.
The first sigh of relief, the first chance to breathe, at last the recoiling of the pain.
Which seemed to have no end, the reuniting of friends instead of their constant refrain.
Same car, same lane, same air, new plane, the almighty wonders of change.
Hopefully its sinking in, goes deeper than the skin, in the heart you hope it swims, even when light is dim.
With new wings to climb, wit new hooks to climb, never to repel to the cell of the wind.
Each move is exact, every footstep on track, never going back to sailing again.
Never going back to flailing your limbs
Impaling each kin with the scales of your sin.
The higher octaves of the constant downgrades
And the need to inhale, when under darkness you swim.
Internal abyss frightens, but not more than the lightening from the shock of loneliness in the depth of the dim.
Where creatures of self rise, lust, pity and pride
Red pupils, green eyes, envy from within
Trapped by chains of capture
To these monsters you're master
But slowly build strength for emancipation
When no union can save you save you
And though they forgave you
There still is a battle to calm them again.

The Journey Begins

Thinking how life would be different if I had someone's help
Who ignored they own agendas, helped me think for myself
Instead of placing me in paintings they envisioned for me
Allowed me to be Van Gogh on this canvas of dreams
Instead they stenciled it all out, made the setting and theme
And all I had to do was fill but that wasn't for me.
I was never the type to shade, never the type to bathe
In the smiles of the master, due to how I behaved
Well I did but not again
Never will I begin
To fit the mold, lose control, Confiding here through this pen
Is my only way out.
Out of this sea of doubt in which I'm currently swimming
Skinning dipping
Its filling my mouth
So as I begin to drink, its power changes how I think
Instead of wanting to stay afloat, I urge to sink
Just the freedom of letting go, conceding to the weights
Tired from life's slows, the hold-ups and the waits
The never gonna happens, the stops and negates
What-ifs from the past, contemplating them today
All are let go as the last air escapes
Out my lungs, life is done, at the end is my fate
On the way up the ground seems so far away
Until you hit it, with a force that leaves your body displaced
Surrounded now by pressure,which leaves my body encased
With nothing there, all is bare, my past life has erased
And when everything has left and all I have is my passion
I opened up my eyes and saw the gates of Atlantis.

Nothing Left to Say

At times I wonder if you care, wonder if your there, wonder if you see my pain without tears cuz I won't show it but hopefuly you know its there, Wish it could be different but honestly I couldn't bear your transformation to a creation whom I'm all to familiar with, not saying it was your fault just something that your dealing with, wish we coulda got dealt a betta hand, your my dad but it was time to be a man, felt like life was cylindrical and I needed a new plan, though I know you won't get it.....I hope you understand that I love you and if given a second chance, I'd go back to b4, but no longer open is that door, so I stay awake at night praying for the source of our issue, wishing I could wipe away this pain as easily as tears upon a tissue, but I can't, all I can do is say that I miss you, and hopefully its vice versa but if not you still guided my way like a cursor. And maybe secretly your proud of me, eyes getting red while writing, I'm blaming allergies, though no pollen is present.....I mean thats its for real...nothing left to say

Gray World

All it takes is one step and its back to the beginning
No matter how close to finish,
One misplaced pace can be the start of an ending.
So Im running trying not to get winded
But the lack of air to my heart can create light and dark blending
So I can't tell the difference between the shadows and the light
The real and the hype
The day and the night
Don't know if I'm sleeping on cloud covered concrete or really taking flight
Cuz when it feels like I'm living my dreams, reality strike
Got my pole in life and I'm just looking for a bite
Had a few before but they were just little pikes
Wrestled some sharks before but now its Mayday
My ship is crashing,lightning dashing
and no one's here to save me.
No FEMA or guard, National or otherwise
heard my call, seen me fall
but could care less if I live or die
So its just me and my innertube floating through the night
Jacket on but it takes more to preserve this life
Where nothing is ever handed, submission is demanded
and if you go out on your own, you are forever branded
as a failure
Since you went where they couldn't, did what they wouldn't
but those with dry lives say you shouldn't
be a sailor
But if we listened to those people the world would still be flat
The night would still be black
Most fiction still be fact.
Most people have dreams but only a few follow
Few peoples lives are filled, while most people's are hollow
And I'm trying not to echo
Its hard but I let go
of people tryna break fast, just let go my eggo
So I'm gone no hello, closing in on the end
Trying to see things as they are but they not when the colors blend

The Fast Lane

Life is never the same once the race has begun
Because the lane that you in is not the lane that you from
As you shift to accelerate, they try to slow you down
Making it longer in this cricle, slower moving round,
Slowly sitting down, Is your fans in the stands,
Said they'll be with you forever, well as long as your the man
But when you cease to be with clouds of doubt arisen
Qualifying's not an option need a top five finish
And the facts are the facts so your eyes on the track
With new focus, blood flowing, got the seat to your back
And your hands on the wheel, you directing where you go
You determine your own speed, so you deal with all the slows
But you cool with the pace, not concerned with going fast
Foes never get it, they just laugh as they pass
While you draft, from behind, let them have they shine
But they luster is all false, just deglossing with the time
And its just a matter of it till you cross your finish line
Hands grabbed, mouths gasp as they slowly fall behind
Adrenline your feeling, as slience enters the building
You try to pass, they not willing, so final lap no concealing
Your passion, your true intentions, no laughter you on a mission
No smile is on your face, your the prey thats being chased
But its cool your love the pace on your way to being great
Closer to the finish is further from the lag
But lifes not black and white once you get your checkered flag
Friends turn to enemies, you wonder why they envy me
They only there to pop the bottles once the race is finsihed see
They only there to see you win
Never will see them again
Once you lose, so you choose on who who your time is worth to spend
But these things are off your mind, laughter crosses on your face
Thinking bout the future in the past as you run your race.

The Wind Beneath Your Wings

Life is getting better so its hard to really write
Since people don't care if your happy or alright
They focus on your sadness, their daytime is your night,
Their sun is your moon, they love to see you fight.
They the fans of pain, rejoicing in your strain
They love to see your cripple but will never be your cane.
They love to see you drip, dribble, drop go insane,
They love to see slip, stumble, stop in the rain,
So they can be above, white like the clouds
Never dirty never stained so no one questions how
Or even questions why,they'd be the ones to hate.
Never wanna see you straight
Never wanna see you make it, they rather see you late,
for your 15 minutes,
rather one long sentence,
like a lot of words in terms of verbs they rather see you sittin
but they the reason that you standing, cause of your elevation
they give you inspiration to be fly like levitation
The only downside is the higher that you are
the colder it becomes, "Why you tryna to reach the stars"
Is the question that they ask as they sitting from the stands
But they the reason that you cool, so I guess thats why they fans

The Awakening

Looking down from this mountain, wondering if I made it
wondering if I should exert my strength or should I save it
Cancel the celebration, ceremony, sedation
Wishing with problems weighing, while precious moments are wasted.
Maintaining maximum focus, tired taking temptations
Tired of trotting in traps, while enemies are elating.
Not today nor no more, destruction of that there door
is imminent due to sentiments and scents I must abhor.
The smell of you signals vomit, your sight induces gore
Your constant combination completely corrupts decor.
So exit my house, these walls no longer need you
Your pessimistic persuasion personifying through people
Destroyed relationships with people I can't forget
So au revoir, farewell, goodbye o Laziness

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